20101

Joke of the Day

"HER: do u have a condom ME: u bet [whistles] [an eagle flies thru the window & drops off a cat] H: holy shit M: ya sometimes he brings cats"

"What does toilet paper and the Star Trek Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons."

"Eaten so many blue cheese stuffed olives today that it feels like France and Greece are waging a war for land in my intestines."

"At the funeral home How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated? Hmm No risk do both."

"Similar What's the same between ur dick and a rubix cube....the longer u play with it the harder it gets"

"I read all tweets with poor grammar and word choice in a Cookie Monster voice."

"Who's the most popular guy in the hospital? The Ultra Sound guy. Who is it when he's not there? The Hip Replacement guy."

"What do you call a place monks go for Halloween? A monascary"

"I like to refer to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine as... ...""Keeping up with the Cardassians"" -&y"

"I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I'll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I'm so lonely."