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Joke of the Day

"Eaten so many blue cheese stuffed olives today that it feels like France and Greece are waging a war for land in my intestines."

"If your smartphone is wet.. .. put it into a bottle of rice. The rice will then attract asians who will repair it."

"Hear about the Donald's ""high energy"" masturbation kit? Tweezers and a magnifying glass."

"What is it Lassie? Timmy fell down a well? Earthquake in LA? The Russians are coming? You found a plane? No? ...Oh, you want another beer."

"What is Moby Dicks dad's name? Poppa Boner"

"drity Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Probably not the first time you heard this. But, I have two very good qualities. One is memory, and I forgot the other one."

"The Spanish Soccer team are have picked up two Euros in the last 4 years... ... that's two more than their banks."

"If you're starved for time, eat a watch."

"Why do black people like the NBA? It's the only sport where you can shoot, steal and run!"