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Joke of the Day

"Who's the most popular guy in the hospital? The Ultra Sound guy. Who is it when he's not there? The Hip Replacement guy."

"If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry clowns... ...go for the juggler."

"COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus? ME: No COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier ME: Thanks COP: Why is it wet? ME: Um COP: And holding 8 guns?"

"What are Holocaust Deniers celebrating timorrow? The Fourth of Jew Lie!!!!"

"The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then."

"What did the Canadian say when asked what he thought about stereotypes? Eh."

"What do you call an exceptionally intelligent gay man? Homogeneous"

"What do you call a man who owns a club for porn addicts? Master Bates"

"Whats the difference between a lawyer and a teenage boy? One is a master debater. The other is a masterbater."

"If I hear a bang when I'm driving I just assume I broke the sound barrier. Not sure where all these dents are coming from though."