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Joke of the Day

"[first day as a server] me: how would u like your steak person: well done me: thank you that's so kind it's my first day & i'm very nervous"

"How do you make a dumb person curious? I'll tell you tomorrow..."

"My friend said he's going to a fancy dress party as a small Italian island..... I said don't be so silly."

"What's an Israeli ghetto called? Palestine."

"A bunch of police officers were outside of a gas station today Apparently someone threw a case of beer ontop of his baby. The baby is okay though, it was a light beer"

"When i apply to the job... Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: Well, I've always been really passionate about not starving to death."

"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in."

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood.."

"I hate when my phone corrects ""hood morning"" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today."

"Every day, I win arguments from 10 years ago in the shower."