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Joke of the Day

"An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says: ""Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"""

"What do you tell your wife with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"The most romantic movie of all time is definitely Pixar's UP. That old man really loved his house."

"Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh doctor my girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in say three or four weeks' time?"

"I've got a quiet buddy who taught his cat to speak. He's a fan of mew words."

"Want to piss your girlfriend off? Text her ""He's busy."" and turn off your phone."

"- I like to travel in first - But is expensive, is not? - Yes, I have already broken three cars!! European joke..."

"I love my 5yr old dearly, but if he keeps saying ""Dark"" Vader I may have to sell him."

"The PC term for Christmas C:\hristmas"

"Based on his ability to hide poop, my cat would be the worst criminal of all time."