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Joke of the Day

"An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says: ""Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"""

"Waiter: What can I get for you? Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked? M: By anyone other than my wife"

"Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: Give her a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say 'hi.'"

"If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be so pissed."

"How do you make a lemon orgasm? You rub its cituris."

"In Gaza Strip... ...Kykes gas you!"

"""UNLESS WE'RE OUT OF CHEESE THERE'S NO REASON TO SCREAM LIKE THAT!"" - me to my kid whenever he throws a tantrum"

"You know, I never understood why calling someone a pussy was an insult. I mean, you are what you eat."

"What three streets in Chicago rhyme with vagina? Paulina, Melvina and Lunt."