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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: Give her a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say 'hi.'"

"[gets on Facebook] [types ""you pushed me away but expected me to stay""] [everyone nods, this is considered extremely good shit on there]"

"2016 got me like I had no expectations, still didn't meet my expectations."

"""Well, he's Jack Frost now lol"" -Rose from Titanic, probably"

"iPad Apple will be unveiling a larger iPad. Proctor & Gamble is set to file suit over trademark infringements over Apple's new Max iPad."

"What do you call a dog that is also a magician? A Labracadabrador."

"Even reddit goes down more often... than my girlfriend."

"The weather is so hot that it gave me the wrong phone number."

"Whiteboards are amazing! They're just so remarkable!"

"Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free"