200943

Joke of the Day

"Where do mice park their boats? At the Hickory Dickory Dock!"

"I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses."

"If babies named Todd don't call themselves ""The Toddler"" then what's the point of having a douchebag baby name like Todd?"

"What's so cool about cemeteries? I don't get it. People are dying to get in them."

"I put ""the rap"" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc."

"Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything"

"What's so good about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them."

"I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to take part in a rape fantasy She screamed NO!! I said thats the spirit"

"Where did all the cuts and blood come from? The school went on a trip!"

"If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup."