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Joke of the Day
"What's so cool about cemeteries? I don't get it. People are dying to get in them."
Next Joke
"The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch."
"What do call forty lesbians in a tree A CUNTREE"
"""This one's cute."" - me picking out a watermelon. I have no idea what I'm doing."
"The paraplegic would be easy to oppress They would never make a stand for their rights"
"My position on marijuana is slumped in a beanbag chair."
"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs"
"Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! -Me, sorting through my grandma's mail."
"How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins."
"What does a virgin woman and a shotgun have In common? One cock and they're ready to burst. EDIT: grammar, thanks /u/J7T12"