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Joke of the Day

"What do you use to transport pittas? A flatbread truck"

"Every time I text this guy, he replies with ""Sorry, I'm driving."" It's been a few days. I'm guessing he's probably made it to Mexico by now."

"Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said ""Watch out for worms won't you!"" The first one replied ""Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."""

"It would be a fun surprise if Jay-Z said he finished laying down some tracks and when you went outside there was a railroad."

"Bought one of those tennis racket looking bug zappers today. My god, where have you been all my life. What fun! Oooh, here comes the dog...."

"How does a watch maker tell you he likes you? With a romantic tock."

"Nesta Carter was asked how he felt after winning a gold medal alongside Usain Bolt. ""That was dope!"""

"Approach a woman in a bar and whisper ""Hey, wanna get out of here?"" If she says yes, you can sit where she was."

"I'm not ""rich."" Actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you're talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still"

"I recently bought a copy of Monty Python's Big Red Book, but was later dismayed to find that I'd purchased the Spanish language version... Nobody expects the Spanish text edition."