200665

Joke of the Day

"I Swear, These Jell-o Products Just Keep Getting Worse... It's almost like they're pudding in less effort. I'll see myself out."

"I sneezed real hard, and while I did not break any bones, I did sustain some tissue damage."

"[Confessional Booth] Me: I can't do anything right. Priest: Please get off of my lap."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. I look at coffee but I am afraid to talk to it"

"Who's the poorest person in West Virginia? The Tooth Fairy."

"What's the difference between rock and jazz? Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people."

"My life is a nightmare since they legalized gay marriage Because I have Iridophobia."

"For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say ""Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?"""

"What's next to Moscow? Pa's cow. I'll show myself out..."

"I almost had a heart attack when I saw a black man carrying a TV like mine. Then I remembered mine was at home working in the garden."