201362

Joke of the Day

"I sneezed real hard, and while I did not break any bones, I did sustain some tissue damage."

"Dr: You've gained some weight Me: You said I should take it easy Dr: That was a yr ago & you were sick Me: WELL I'M NOT A MIND READER"

"So, this baby seal walks into a club... [o(;_;)o](http://youtu.be/TK2TuqcNWPY?t=30s)"

"There has been a bomb explode in Scandanavia? There's Norway i would sink Oslo as to think of a joke for that."

"Have you seen that clip of the LGBT stripper who's incorporated martial arts into her routine? No? Well if you want to, just Google ""Gypsy Bruce Lee""."

"My wife and I do this cute thing where she sends me pics of kitchen towels she can't decide on buying and I google my life expectancy."

"Whenever I see a middle-aged guy trying desperately to hang onto his youth, I always think ""I should move this mirror""."

"Is Google a he or a she? A she, no doubt, because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas. (no offence to ladies)"

"I have now lived in New York long enough that I can eat a meal while running at full speed."

"How do we know God's not a woman? We're not sandwiches."