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Joke of the Day

"You are Darth Vader. How can you tell if your stormtroopers just played paintball in their freetime again? You can't."

"I have a confession to make. I've been having sex with my staff. What's worse is I'm self employed!!!! Badaboom!"

"I've got an idea for who should run for President next... Hindsight, 2020."

"If history is any indication a lot more stuff is bound to happen."

"What do you call a racist Chinese person A ricist"

"the restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang, it just means I can't be within 50'. We could still play catch or frisbee or something..."

"Dentist: this is gonna hurt a little bit Me: ok Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom"

"How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house? He's still there."

"Damn Donald.... Back at it again with the white fans"

"When Santa's helpers take pics of themselves is it called an Elfie?"