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Joke of the Day

"the restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang, it just means I can't be within 50'. We could still play catch or frisbee or something..."

"You can't prove that I'm not the center of the universe."

"Half of middle aged mothers don't go to the cinemas I don't believe that where do they make all their phone calls"

"An Art Thief is Sitting in His Driveway... He didn't have any Monet, to buy Degas, to make his Van Gogh."

"*eats everything*"

"A woman asks her friend, ""Is your husband circumcised?"" Her friend replies, ""No, he's a complete dick."""

"There are so many closet gay muslims, Isis just invaded Narnia."

"I was trying to write a boxing joke But I couldn't come up with a punch line."

"My friend said he almost got trapped at a camp site during a forest fire... ...He said it was pretty in-tents."

"George Washington Today What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now? Scratchin' the inside of his coffin."