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Joke of the Day
"Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today ... Should of put it on aloha temperature."
Next Joke
"I'm holding a party for people who can never reach orgasm If you can't come let me know."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode."
"Asked my 3yo what she was thinking and she said ""I wouldn't want to work at McDonald's bc you have to poop in the food before you serve it."""
"I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that."
"Why do hurricanes have women name? Because they take away your house, your car, your furniture and everything you have."
"My Grandmother always leaves long voicemails. Its 5 minutes of her talking and 10 minutes of her trying to hang up the phone."
"Did you hear that the guy who invented predictive text has died. His funfair is next sundial."
"How big would jupiter be if it was as close to the earth as the moon..... Pretty damn big (courtesy of my daughter)"
"A hamburger and french fries walk into a bar... The bartender looks at them and says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""