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Joke of the Day

"I am so perfect... ... I only have four flaws. 1) I lack humility. b) I'm inconsistent. Finally, I can't count."

"What's the most fucked up joke you know that is not racist in any way? Lemme have it."

"Why do mice have such small balls? Because very few of them know how to dance."

"Drinking hard liquor is... pretty whisky business."

"I asked Jesus what he did before he died He said ""Not much. I was just getting hammered and hanging out all day."""

"Today I accidentally hit on the mirror It cracked me up"

"Why are power tools good for bank robberies? They know the drill."

"Mary had a little lamb, little beef, little ham, tacos, burritos, cream,cheetos,chocolate cake. Her waist was wide as whoah!"

"I've never made eggplant before. Is it better fried or scrambled?"

"Did you hear about the gangsta proctologist? Apparently he busted a capillary in someone's ass."