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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the time Hitler and Stalin shared an apartment? It turns out that their landlord was the lessor to two evils."

"My boss told me she would screw me if I worked all the free overtime I possibly could."

"If I wanted to get trapped in a scary maze, I'd just go into my kid's bedroom."

"An unfortunate blind date. that's the last blind date I go on. She turned up. hit me with her cane then her dog bit me. It was like she couldn't even see."

"What do you call a Russian, homophobic, golfer? Vladimir Putting"

"When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon... ...they gave him the cold shoulder."

"Shout out to people that do not know what the opposite of in is!"

"If I were to invade Djibouti... Do you think Greece would help? [read out loud]"

"So the FBI paid professional hackers to unlock the shooter's iPhone. But whenever I pay hackers to unlock an iPhone, I'm ""too insecure to be in a relationship""."

"What's the only animal with a cunt on its back? A police horse."