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Joke of the Day

"If I wanted to get trapped in a scary maze, I'd just go into my kid's bedroom."

"Some fairy tales start with ""once upon a time"". Others start with ""If I won the elections""."

"I want to start a cafe and fill it with surrealist paintings. I'll call it Salvador Deli."

"Check it out on Netflix There's this new docu-series about religion in professional sports. The first episode is titled *Bindi Like Beckham*"

"I'm 2/3 virgin."

"Why doesn't anyone watch women's hockey? The games take 3 months to play!"

"What's al Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"him: who is your fantasy? me: huh? him: who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with? me: the elevator repair man."

"Him: I'm making you Produce Manager. Me: A PLUM assignment! H: ... M: You're a PEACH! H: ... M: Do I start today or TOMATO? H: You're fired."

"My gangsta career was brought to an abrupt and tragic end when my homies caught me sipping on a frappucino doing my taxes"