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Joke of the Day

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? [Can be disturbing] The New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 10 seconds."

"Wait so does Smashing Pumpkins refer to destroying pumpkins or are they just super good pumpkins in England"

"What's the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon."

"Anal sex is a lot like broccoli If you're forced to have it as a child, you're probably not going to enjoy it as an adult."

"Everyone knows Superman's father was Jor-El, but no one ever mentions his germophobic uncle, Pur-El."

"dwights farm as suffered a massive blight, almost bankrupt he was signed for a massive record deal on the condition he give up farming turns out all he had to do was drop those sick beets"

"I'm no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to fcuk off today you'll feel better."

"Man's appearance is not the most important thing. There are worse flows."

"Why do female drivers sit higher up in their seats than male drivers? Because they're sitting on a box."

"Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks."