31988
Joke of the Day
"Man's appearance is not the most important thing. There are worse flows."
Next Joke
"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."
"What's the difference between a hockey player and my exgirlfriend? A hockey player will shower after 3 periods."
"[showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. ""You named your daughter Jack?"" Nope, mittens"
"Why don't chicken coops have four doors? They would be chicken sedans"
"What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 13 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either."
"If I have to drive more than 5 minutes to find a Starbucks, I consider myself in a third-world location."
"ME: long time no see! I heard you're a doctor FRIEND: I am. what do you do now? ME: [glances down at open twitter app] I'm a writer"
"You know you where drunk last night when you realise you cooked your pizza for 200 minutes at 18 degrees"
"Student loans: because you should know what it's like to be one of the poor people you're always going on about"