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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon."

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? ...I don't pay 100$ to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I like to stay at the nude beach all day, or at least until clothing time."

"What do you call noodles that aren't spaghetti? Impastas"

"I have a dog with no legs. His name is Cigarette because I have to take him out for a drag."

"My first subtweet was in the 3rd grade when I added extra glitter to Nathan's Valentine."

"What weighs 2 lbs and is full of shit? Donald Trump's shoes"

"I'm most productive at work when I'm in the bathroom. It's where I get shit done."

"SATs Roses are red, Violets are blue. I copied your answers, and I failed too."

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Small, dark, and made by my parents."