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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon."

"What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !"

"I'm getting pretty worried, my girlfriend hasn't gotten her period yet. And she's already 14."

"The big news story tonight is about the balls being too small . . . At the state of the Union address!"

"Like boxes of shit in your house? Get a cat."

"I saw a homeless man and gave him $1.00. I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77."

"Masturbation is like procasination In the end you're just fucking yourself"

"A good pun... A good pun is its own reword."

"Hate when I eat the last bite and didn't notice it was the last bite so I couldn't mentally prepare myself and get any closure."

"What do Africans say when they hear something funny? That's fucking malarious"