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Joke of the Day

"My favorite name for a planet is Saturn... it has a nice ring to it."

"According to tinder, every guy is at a lake holding a fish & every girl is on top of a mountain & that's why it's so tragically hard to meet"

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I've never had a garbanzo bean in my bed."

"your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath."

"It's 100% legal to give cops the finger. But remember, it's also apparently 100% legal for them to shoot and kill you."

"I think it's safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody."

"A man walks into the doctor's office to get a physical.The doctor says ""you will need to stop masturbating."" The man asks ""why?"" The doctor says ""because I am trying to give you a physical."""

"Three tampons are walking down the street... which one says ""hi"" to you? None of them, they're all stuck up cunts"

"I know this guy who watches Fist of the North Star........ AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! BUMBADUMBAAAAAAA (I'm really sorry)"

"How are sex and pizza similar? If you get it from someone in a Chuck E. Cheese's it's never very good."