199636
Joke of the Day
"Well that's a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I'm doing"
Next Joke
"After a dream I had last night, credits rolled. I had no idea so many people worked on those things."
"Where do you find a dog with no legs? ...right where you put it."
"- do u like green eggs & ham? - i do not like them, sam i am - but why? - animal agriculture leads to global warming sam read a goddamn book"
"Optometrist dilated my eyes today; everything blurry Shortest time I have ever spent on the pot, says the wife..."
"I got new neighbors today, I hope they like my music as much as the last 9 families did."
"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know why"
"Think of how horrible Ray Rice and the NFL had to act in order to make TMZ seem like brave investigative reporters"
"What do you call one bunch of woodland creatures complimenting another bunch of woodland creatures over their newly formed religion? Constructive Critter Schism"
"What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt? After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture."