197954

Joke of the Day

"Optometrist dilated my eyes today; everything blurry Shortest time I have ever spent on the pot, says the wife..."

"Every grocery store has free samples if you're quick enough"

"I propose we rename our seasons: Blizzard Flood Oven Kinda Nice For A Bit"

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 14 years... I'm going to hell."

"If there were such a thing as beavers that were small and live in people's circulatory systems, what would be their religion? Embolism."

"When you put the punchline before the rest of the joke. How do you know when you're a bad comedian?"

"What do black people get on their math test? (Warning offensive!) Chicken grease."

"How do you call a Jamaican mountain? High ground"

"I'm giving up alcohol for a month.... Wait, sorry. That came out wrong. I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month."

"Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ? Must have been a duck family A duck family ? Didn't you say there was a quack in it !"