1309

Joke of the Day

"After a dream I had last night, credits rolled. I had no idea so many people worked on those things."

"I'm usually more of a Samantha but sometimes I am such a Carrie, like when a bucket of blood got dumped on my head at prom"

"What's big, yellow, and can't swim? A schoolbus full of children."

"Men at the supermarket are like fish in an aquarium. Silent, with no recollection of how or why they got there."

"Why did the Redneck cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken."

"Why is Donald Trump gay? The Chinese beemhole been trippin hardcore nomsayin'?"

"A toast to wives, girlfriends, and lovers. May they never meet."

"Did you hear about the movie ""Constipated"" ??? I heard it hasn't come out yet"

"Where did the glue go on vacation? Nowhere! He just stuck around!"

"I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu."