1309

Joke of the Day

"After a dream I had last night, credits rolled. I had no idea so many people worked on those things."

"I wrote a song about a tortilla Actually it's more of a wrap"

"If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet."

"""I see an Irish man walking..."" Short I see an Irish man walking with only one shoe on. I tell him ""You're only wearing one shoe, you stupid cunt"". The Irish man replies ""No, I found one."""

"What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle? **WRONG.** ^... ^or ^^right, ^^^or ^^^^something ^^^^^in ^^^^^^between."

"What does the chicken says to the other chicken? Nothing."

"Today was my first day in University Everyone look me like i am a criminal or prey."

"How do you make five pounds of fat look attractive? put a nipple on it."

"Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats."

"Two pancakes walk in the desert. One of them tells the other one: ""Your jam fell off."""