19959

Joke of the Day

"What is a mexican's favourite sport? Cross-Country Running"

"Why did AT&T have the worst wedding? No reception."

"Kylo Ren used to complain his parents were passive aggressive. Well, boo hoo. My dad was actively aggressive. Just ask my hand."

"What is any guy's dream first job? A blowjob"

"I be a quantum pirate. I'll make ye walk the planck."

"Calling someone 'one in a million' in China means they aren't that special."

"It's cold Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees."

"Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy"

"Window repairman: What happened did someone try to break into your house? Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk"

"[Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died."