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Joke of the Day

"It's cold Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees."

"You know what I like most about people? Their Pets."

"There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all ""shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."""

"How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents? The ones with food."

"how can you tell if you have amnesia? what was the question?"

"I'm constantly amazed that only 26 letters in the alphabet can produce so much bullshit."

"""when people say different color bell peppers taste different"" [doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically"

"100$ Bill 1st: Why are you late? 2nd: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 1st: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? 2nd: No, I was standing on it."

"A man enters an auto parts store. Man: ""I need a windshield wiper for a Smart Car"" Clerk: ""Well, only if you throw $20 into the trade"""

"2 reasons not to drink toilet water: Number 1 and number 2."