159327

Joke of the Day

"Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy"

"What do you say to change the atmosphere at a dinner party? ""If were all here, who's looking after Madeline?"""

"I lost my new underwear... ...I only wore them briefly."

"Shout out to Pringles for admitting they're addictive, unlike cigarettes and heroin the two biggest liars of the snack industry."

"AWE YEAH,,, I just washed my dog with Axe body wash... He's gonna to get ALL DA B!TCHES"

"A Family Walks Into A Hotel... The Father walks up to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled"" The man at the desk replies ""no, it's just regular porn you sick cunt"""

"My wife's leaving me because I'm too arrogant. I told her to close the door on her way back in."

"So, did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"Girls: I hangout with guys, theres less drama. Me: I hangout by myself. Theres no drama & I dont have to wear pants."

"Sometimes, I think I'm the only member of my family not doped up on prescription drugs all the time. Then I usually take my amnesiac meds."