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Joke of the Day

"Window repairman: What happened did someone try to break into your house? Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk"

"What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner? All rice, all rice, all rice"

"The first woman on the Moon contacted Houston. ""Houston, we have a problem."" *""What is it?""* ""Never mind."" *""What's the problem?""* ""It's nothing."" *""Please tell us.""* ""I'm fine."""

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't ""budge-it""."

"that's disgusting (unless you're up for it?)"

"Did you hear about the new Comedy Central show? a polar bear offers his commentary about current events. Its called the Cold Bear Report!"

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? Rip-off."

"[first day of work as a 911 operator] ""Hello, 911"" Hi someone's trying to break into my house ""holy shit call 911"""

"Guy brings a giraffe into a bar... The giraffe passes out on the floor and the bartender says ""hey, you cant leave that lyin there."" The guy says ""it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."""

"Nosy Peppers Nosy peppers are jalapeno business."