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Joke of the Day

"If you don't send the person you're stalking a nude photo of yourself, then you're not taking that relationship serious enough!"

"My friend from Pakistan said he hates his job and can't take it anymore ""It will get better"", I said. ""You have your whole life ahead of you. You're only 12 years old."""

"I hate boxing But you gotta love May weather!"

"How did Helen Keller burn her face? She answered the waffle iron. How did she burn the other side? They called back."

"It takes balls to be a man."

"Knock, Knock... Who's there? Peas. Peas who? *Peas pass the butter*"

"Me: I'd like to report a disturbance. Police Dispatcher: Okay, where sir? Me: In the force, I can feel it."

"Basically if your movie trailer features a close-up of a glass of rippling water I'm assuming that your movie will have dinosaurs."

"Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..? he was tired of coffin."

"I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial"