215848

Joke of the Day

"How did Helen Keller burn her face? She answered the waffle iron. How did she burn the other side? They called back."

"VJ Day Because Hirohito was a cunt."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his mother in the jaw."

"Was George Michael an organ donor? Because he's gonna be pissed when he hears what happend to his heart."

"There's this one girl student in my class that always dresses slutty and shows of her curves... ...and that's not even the best part about home-schooling"

"Me: If you don't like my rules, maybe you can find a different mom. 4yo: *excitedly* Can we really do that?"

"I will not be giving shelter to any men in my bunker after the apocalypse only women, and there is a dress code.... #Doomsday2012"

"What's the difference between the government and your wife? The government enjoys fucking you Edit: phrasing courtesy of tefkasm"

"What is the difference between a church and a cult? Their Punch."

"What happens when libertarians and honey badgers don't give a shit together? An ex-lax shortage"