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Joke of the Day

"How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger? One if nobody's looking."

"The Muffin Joke Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said ""Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"" The other turned and shouted ""Oh my god a talking muffin!"""

"Here's a tip: When making sad face emoticons, use :( If you use ): that means your mouth fell off and a frisbee is lodged in your forehead"

"How do you get gum out of your hair? Q: How do you get gum out of your hair? A: Cancer."

"I like my women like I like my bacon I like them."

"I think I might have a shower. *checks* Yes, I have a shower."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? (NSFW) To suck the cock"

"Do/Be To do is to be. -Descartes To be is to do. -Voltaire Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra"

"Whenever I feel a conversation is becoming dull, I start talking about sunscreen... because it's topical."

"How do you make estrogen? Don't pay her."