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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my bacon I like them."

"your honor, i nominate the real murderer for the ice bucket challenge!! [a guy stands up] nice"

"What's the first sign of AIDS? A pounding sensation in the ass."

"The guy who coined the phrase,""I'm not gettin any younger."" The guy he said it to then coined the phrase,""No shit, Sherlock."""

"A single gene that is dramatically different in chimpanzees and humans may explain why apes cannot talk. Oh well, at least they can still communicate through rap music."

"Oh, I just love it when people are being sarcastic. That's just really great. Thanks a lot."

"You're 15 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 2 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating dirt."

"Marriage: when hanging out goes way too far."

"Nine out of ten people enjoy gangbangs ...But I only have group sex when it's consensual."

"I was walking through the mall... I was walking through the mall, when I noticed this mannequin giving me a filthy look. I went over and decked the cunt and said ""Fucking poser"""