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Joke of the Day

"[looks up from laptop while updating resume] son, you're good with computers ""I'm alright"" how do I find pictures of mean looking dinosaurs?"

"Please don't put a coin on my mouth when I die; I plan to wander the shores of the River Styx for 100 years & finally get that bikini body."

"You think you're not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles."

"New E Sport So there is a doctor in NYC that came down with ebola...he went bowling the night before admittance, created new sport...eboling"

"What's the Only Planet That Gives a Crap? Uranus."

"How do black people decide what day to wear airbrushed memorial t-shirts of dead relatives?"

"A wizard who likes to give zombies hickies is.. a neckromancer."

"[DJ] A man dug three holes and said.... Well, well, well... Yes [DJ] = Dad Joke warning It's honestly my dad's favorite joke."

"April showers bring May flowers Mayflowers bring Smallpox."

"No matter how kind you are ... German children will always be Kinder"