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Joke of the Day

"Oops. Everyone brought their ""see you next year""s to work today and I only brought my throat slashing gesture."

"You know what the first sign of AIDS is, right? A severe pounding in the ass..."

"What do you say to a family who has just experienced death of a family member due to anorexia? Sorry for the loss."

"What's the difference between a cow and the crucifixion? You can't milk a cow for 2000 years"

"What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef"

"Your mama so fat.. Her curve set everyone's grade to A+"

"[3rd date] Kate: You wanna come back to mine for coffee? Ian: Sure! Kate: Have you got any condoms? Ian: Do you not know how to make coffee?"

"If you are living your life without giving an ""f"", You are living a li[ ]e."

"What did GB say to EU? Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!"

"What does a vegetable use to change a flat? Asparagus..."