199094

Joke of the Day

"Why do some women wear panties with flowers on them? In memory of all the faces that have been buried there."

"Say what you want about the Make-a-Wish foundation At least they can work to a deadline"

"Accidentally dropped a magic mushroom in my cats litter box & now he's laying across the driveway staring at the stars & quoting Kierkegaard"

"I was looking at a cup of Earl Grey that always replenishes itself.. It was like staring into infinitea."

"Why is it called her ""time of the month"" and not ""trouble in paradise?"""

"Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"Know why the whole thing with hitler and the Jews happens Because he asked for a glass of juice but everyone thought he said gas the Jews."

"My family keeps bringing up my felony like I'm afraid to commit another one."

"Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink? So women know where to stand in the kitchen."

"[mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring] Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need... [cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling] Legos"