38764

Joke of the Day

"Know why the whole thing with hitler and the Jews happens Because he asked for a glass of juice but everyone thought he said gas the Jews."

"When one door closes another door opens, pretty sure my house is haunted, I sleep on the porch"

"He: is this love or what? She: What."

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me because I never pay attention ...or something like that... I wasn't really listening."

"REPUBLICAN (running for office): We need to make haircuts safer! REPUBLICAN (in office): Haircuts will only be done using chainsaws."

"Dog walking is by far the easiest job I've done.. It was a walk in the park"

"Me: What are the lyrics to every 80s sitcom I've ever seen Brain: Coming right up Me: Remember to pay that bill Brain: Nope"

"The guys and I are heading into town. Gonna hit a few bars, a strip club, and then, MAYBE... ...the Museum."

"How do all racist jokes start? *looks around everywhere*"

"What is the difference between you and school tomorrow? I'm not going to come into school tomorrow."