198862

Joke of the Day

"Hey girl... You must be pretty massive because I'm (gravitationally) attracted to you."

"Pro tip for picking up girls keep your back straight and lift with your knees."

"I lost two things today... Job in a morgue . . . . . . . . . . . and virginity"

"What kind of outfit says ""I want you to let me stand in your group so I don't look like a loser but I don't want to talk to any of you""?"

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear."

"When I was born god asked me if I wanted a good memory or a huge wiener. I can't remember what I picked..."

"This fortune cookie I just had said 'Off yourself' & my lucky numbers on the back was the phone number to a local gun shop."

"Why do lesbians hate Nutella? Because it's not nut-free"

"Here lies IcarusIsNotLonely, upon his gravestone lie his last words: ""Oh fuck, a car!"""