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Joke of the Day

"ME: Hey buddy, your dog left a little 'present' on my lawn GUY: Huh? ME: *points to tiny, nicely wrapped gift* Thank him for me, willya?"

"Q: What's the richest kind of air? A: A millionaire."

"How many terrorist does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just hold a knife to its throat and threaten to execute it if it doesn't change itself"

"What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit? I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green."

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. So is monogamy."

"A wife says to her husband.... ""I want you to whishper dirty things in me ear,, to which the husband replies: ""Kitchen,bathroom,livingroom""..."

"My wife came out to me after for horrible years of marriage and revealed she was a lesbian and that she wished she'd married another woman Which finally gave us something in common."

"What do you call a crashed Vertibird? ( Fallout 4) An Invertibird."

"My last job was circumcising elephants The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge."

"""Marvel comics to introduce a female Muslim superhero"" Fans are looking forward to seeing Captain America, Iron Man and the Post Box in the next Avengers film."