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Joke of the Day
"Getting a bit worried, is this normal? One of my nipples is a different colour than the other two"
Next Joke
"GOD: Go forth, my tiny friends! ANTS: Hooray! ANGEL: Ok next creation ... The anteater. ANTS: The what now?"
"Keep in mind that parenting guides are written by people with enough free time & financial resources to write a parenting guide."
"I once went to Africa, all the girls there were a perfect 10..... ...on the BMI scale"
"I hate people that drink in order to have fun. Why can't they say it's great just to drink, whether you have fun or not?"
"Maybe it's just me, but reading books on an iPad Mini, I really miss the smell, the heft, the traditional reading experience of an iPad 2."
"I trick people that I know Spanish by quoting fragments of Spanish songs I know, la bamba."
"ME: I hit my neighbors car. CAT: I killed my last 4 owners. ME: YOU CAN TALK! CAT: ... ME: Wait, what did you just say? CAT: *blinks*"
"What's the difference between a lawyer and a whore?` None. They both fuck people for a living."
"Two beans on the east coast of Australia Ended up in Cairns."