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Joke of the Day
"Wow thank you so much for whistling at me, guy in Walmart. I've never felt more beautiful."
Next Joke
"Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids? Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah."
"A quick way to get your kids to leave you alone is to say, ""I need to make your dentist appointment."""
"They say real men hunt their food, which is why I throw a spear through the box of pasta before letting it bleed out in my shopping cart."
"I could not stop my baby boy from crying so I poured no tears shampoo in his eyes, it didn't work."
"Thought of this one at breakfast today Q: What's the worst kind of jam? A: A traffic jam!"
"So ISIS attacker hid IEDs inside his rectum and detonated it.. What was the last thing that went through this terrorist mind? His ass of course lol. P.s. This is from a true story"
"What do you call a woman who obsesses over learning about sex? An info-maniac."
"Why is Santa Claus always so happy? He knows where all the bad girls live"
"A Dyslexic Devil Worshipper Sold his Soul to Santa."