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Joke of the Day

"What do you call three Make-a-Wish Foundation kids? A genie."

"Went out dressed as a chicken last night and got with a girl who was dressed as an egg and a life-long question was answered... Turns out, it was the chicken!"

"Heard this one from my little brother. Poor Timmy... Him: Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Me: why? Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Him: Not Timmy."

"My mate lent me 5000 to produce my idea of a fruit-based torch, then took all credit. Cunt stole my limelight."

"I live by 2 simple rules: 1. Don't treat people like shit. 2. If any melted cheese gets on your paper plate, you must also eat the plate."

"I finally found love!! It's on page 364 in the dictionary."

"How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar? He shreds."

"Facebook- You: Going to a concert tonight! Friend: Sweet, what concert? Aunt: WHAT IS ITUNEZ?????? HOW IS YOUR DAD????? I LOVE YOU XOXOXO"

"Snack mixes are great because I only want to enjoy 40 percent of what I eat."

"Son, we don't play Hungry Hungry Hippos for ""fun."" We play it to learn how friends turn on each other in moments of desperation and scarcity"