198566

Joke of the Day

"I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes"

"""Long story short"" makes your story three words longer."

"Greatest joke ever !!! My life"

"Why do women sound like they're having an orgasm when they play tennis? And why does my mother play Tennis in her bedroom?"

"Do you know why doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis? Because the definition of arthritis is inflammation of the joints"

"[dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit"

"A lot of people have a fear of flying. Not me. I have a fear of crashing and dying. #pussies #imbrave"

"What is a mosquito's favourite sport ? Skin-diving !"

"What's the best thing about Sweden? Well, their flag is a big plus..."

"How do astronauts make a party? They planet."