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Joke of the Day

"[dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit"

"According to the manual, I can have an extra ten Weight Watchers Points if I start breast feeding."

"*im watching a babe on a trampoline when her boob pops out* ""whoah"" *her other boob pops out* ""WHOAH"" *a third boobs pops out* ""WHOOOAAHHHH"""

"Went to my friend's house for a night of drinking... ...crashed on the couch. I was awoken in the middle of the night by my friend blowing chunks. Chunks is the family dog"

"Why doesn't Barbie have kids? Cause Ken cums in another box..."

"How do you know a black chick is pregnant? When she pulls out the tampon all the cotton has been picked."

"I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that's super easy for me to remember: InsufficientFundsContactYourBank00.00"

"I think marriage should be between a robot and a spider horse because I'm a retarded man child and this is what I bring to the conversation."

"Babies are really expensive, which is why all the ones in Babies R Us don't have price tags."

"*holding a glass of white wine with 2 hands like it's a mug of hot cocoa*"