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Joke of the Day

"[dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit"

"I always take my kids on vacation during drug awareness week...because there's just some things they should learn from their dad."

"I told a joke about noble gasses the other day. There was no reaction."

"What's the hardest thing about skateboarding? Telling your parents you're gay."

"Is this subreddit a vacuum? Because it sure does suck."

"Q: Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder? A: So he could shoot his mouth off."

"Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees...... Celsius."

"I just had a phone call saying I'd won 250 cash or two tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It said Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show......"

"I just thought up a really nerdy joke... How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT? Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**"

"I've never been a great salesman I'll tell you that for free"