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Joke of the Day
"""Long story short"" makes your story three words longer."
Next Joke
"Isn't it nice that soon Justin Bieber will go through puberty, Twilight will end, & Mr.Potter's gone? Everything's going to be normal again"
"A good way to know you'll be paying more than 5 dollars for a coffee is if the guy making it looks like one of the Lumineers."
"So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust... I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party."
"What do you give a man who has everything? Penicillin"
"What's the German super hero called? Ale-Man"
"My wife has two weeks left to live... Then I'm going to stab her."
"What is Michele Obama's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli"
"What's the difference between Obama supporters and Romney supporters? Romney supporters sign their checks on the front. Obama supporters sign their checks on the back."
"What kind of fabric does Mario use? Denim denim denim."