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Joke of the Day

"Lazy person fact #4523974903 You were too lazy to read that number."

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"Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine !"
"What do you call a barking dog riding the subway? a sub-woofer!!!"
"What are your best family friendly Christmas jokes? I need some for tonight."
"Why does Saturday stink? Because it has a turd in it."
"[pharmacy] ""Can I help you?"" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*"
"Dark humour is like a kid with cancer It never gets old Edit: Credits to /u/CookieDestroyer66 He da real MVP."
"What type of dog is always amazed? A Chi-WOW!-ua"
"How does Amazon Mexico pay its employees? In Jeff Pesos."
"I'm so lazy, I'll only walk my fingers through your hair."