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Joke of the Day

"I hate when kangaroos say they're going to ""hop in the shower"" and expect you to laugh like you've never heard it before."

"My wife and I agreed to only smoke after sex. I've had the same pack of cigarettes for 6 months... She's up to 2 packs a day."

"""Can someone call me a doctor?!"" You're a doctor. ""Please I'm losing my patience!"" You're a terrible doctor."

"I once ate an exclamation mark... it was surprisingly good."

"Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax? Because he makes so many brilliant deductions."

"Excuse me sir, where do you keep the ""Whoomp""? Oh, there it is."

"Define the lecturer Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer? Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping."

"Why don't parrot's like black people? Because Polly wants a cracker."

"What's the difference between a blimp and a blow job every day? One's a Goodyear, the other's a fucking awesome year!"

"When is the only time you can park like a retard? In a handicapped spot."