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Joke of the Day
"I once ate an exclamation mark... it was surprisingly good."
Next Joke
"A lot of people tend to say life is like a rollercoaster. It is! Specifically the Smiler in Alton Towers. You start out with nervous excitement and by the end of it you need new knees."
"I like my women like I like my pizza... ...hot, cheap, and on the go."
"Whenever you ride an elevator with other people, it's best not to mention your imaginary friends even if someone is standing on Carl."
"I saw a sign the other day the made me fucking piss my pants... ...it said ""Bathroom Closed"""
"What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip"
"My dog has no nose. That's terrible! How does he smell? Awful."
"My friend lied to me about pooping in the slow cooker. What a crock of shit."
"If I were black... I'd stand in front of a tanning salon and laugh at all the customers. Source: Neal Brennan"
"Just once I'd like to wake up as eager to start the day as my p*nis is."