198417

Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you."

"Here's a handy trick. When people are talking to you, nod and think about other stuff."

"Did you hear about the deformed linebacker? He had 4 sacks."

"WAITER: the duck is organic & cruelty-free ME: can i order a duck who endured lots of cruelty WAITER: what why ME: a duck killed my father"

"My all time favourite joke. Apologies to 99% of you. What's big and white and sits in a tree? A fridge. What's big and white and blue and sits in a tree? A fridge wearing jeans."

"I was surprised to learn my kid failed the road driving test... ...she Tweeted three times that it seem to be going well."

"Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!"

"A boy says to his step-dad ""You're not my real dad"", and his step-dad says ""you're right, because I'm here right now""."

"Opera is what happens when someone stabs you and instead of dying, you sing."

"Hey, reddit, what is the most offensive joke you know? I just thought of this one. It should be pretty entertaining!"