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Joke of the Day

"Q: ""Have you heard about the new pirate movie?"" A: ""It's rated aaarrrrrrrr."""

"What did the keyboard say to the mouse? stop with the cheesey jokes!"

"What's the worst possible thing to hear while you're blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."" David Sadaris"

"Some guys are afraid to finish when fapping... Not me, though. I ain't afraid of nuttin!"

"You know what Schwarzenegger is up to these days? He's an exterminator."

"Having sex with a waitress sucks. She only takes the tip."

"There is a thin line between Numerator and Denominator. I bet only a fraction of you get this."

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? [Click here for the punchline](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1yya5x/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_in_suspense/)"

"Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces? For the chance to gain some experience in the service."

"My wife told me to get her something she can use for her birthday this year. So I got her a face-lift and a tummy tuck."