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Joke of the Day

"The fact acceptance movement and the French Revolution are very similar. People losing their heads over eating cake."

"What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?"

"Decaf means something is very, very Dec."

"Every time I get a birthday card with money in it, I pretend not to notice the money and ""read"" the card."

"Is there a mouse that doesn't make a clicking noise as I'm trying to close 10 windows when my boss walks into my office?"

"TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up"

"What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month? The Imperial March."

"What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM? It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care."

"When anyone says they've embarrassed themselves enough for one day, I smile, nod and think 'that kind of limit sounds nice'"

"[at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*"